Mark 11:23 ESV

Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him.

A Depressing Morning

Today, on my weight loss journey, I woke up depressed. I felt bad about all the poor choices I made last night after a long, hot day in the sun, river rafting.

We stopped at Rosie’s diner with our good friends to have a bite to eat. We were all famished after almost 5 hours on the raft.

I went in with a solid plan - eat salad and drink water. 

A Mistake of a Meal

I ordered a taco salad and drank a lot of water. Then, my girlfriend ordered a Caesar cocktail. I was weakening by the second. “Ok, I will get one too,” I politely asked the waiter. It was the start of a bad situation.

My sons ordered a huge order of chicken nachos, Frank’s hot wings, and homemade french fries. It was over for me. I snacked on the nachos, wings, and fries, which was a munching moment to end in regret. We drove the 40 minutes home, and I was on a rebel munching high.

It felt so good.

It tasted so good.

A Late Night Cheat

After putting the boys to bed, I opened the fridge door to nothing other than Joshua’s leftover birthday cake. “Don’t do it,” I told myself. “Don’t.”

Next thing you know, I’ve got the fridge doors wide open, with a fork in hand, and I’m opening the lid. “Just one bite,” I told myself. I was halfway done, plowing through that large piece of cake standing in front of the fridge in the dark. Then I told myself you better throw it away, or you’ll eat the entire piece! I threw it away, but I still failed. I broke all my rules.

The Aftermath

This morning, I felt like a failure. Even my husband, who tends to be more negative, encouraged me. He saw me solemnly walking around the house in my misery. I probably looked like a little girl who wasn’t allowed to play with her friends.

I learned today that overcoming mental battles is a big part of success in my weight loss journey. I wanted to give up this morning. I wanted to throw in the towel. I felt it was all over for me. I then realized I was verbally abusing my own self.

Getting Back Up Again

Would I allow my kids to talk like this to themselves or others? Absolutely not! So why am I doing it to myself? I changed what I said to myself. This is a moment to reflect on and overcome. I will start back with my rules. I will try to follow them most of the time. I’ve made headway in such a short period. I want to get back on track and move forward.

I need to stay focused the rest of the week so that I can achieve my weight loss goals. Maybe I can treat myself once a week.

Weight 

I gained 5 pounds since the last check-in. What a disappointment. But I’m considering that I did not give up, and that’s all that matters.

Heart Rate

My resting heart rate was 74 beats per minute on my Fitbit.

Sleep

My Fitbit sleep score was 86, probably because I was too depressed to get my butt out of bed. It was a good score. Through the valleys and the mountains, I must be at peace.

Clothing 

I am still bulging in the belly and still in size ten shorts. I will not allow myself to buy any bigger clothing. If anything, I will buy smaller. I am going smaller, not bigger.

Workout 

I haven’t worked out for a few days. I will get back into it tomorrow with a half-hour workout. My goal is to work out for 30 minutes at least five times per week.

There were ups and some really low downs in this short weight-loss venture. I was able to achieve a positive outcome by changing my negative mindset. You may not have someone in your corner to help you realize that your troubles are not as bad as you think they are. Are you speaking life to yourself? Or are you tearing yourself down?

Let today be the day that you quit verbally abusing yourself. Start speaking encouraging words to your soul. You see what needs changing. Let’s make changes, not dwell on past mistakes.

I look forward to sharing more of my journey over the next few weeks. If you like what you’ve read, sign up for my newsletter! You’ll receive weekly emails to keep you in the loop so you don’t miss any of my updates!

-Christian, Wrecked and Refined